27 Oct Drug Addiction Advice – Helpful advice for family members

Today at my clinic a patient came to his appointment with his father. Now this patient was an adult patient, in his mid 30s and he allowed his father to come with him today. The father was very grateful that his son was getting treatment and that he had opened up to him about his problems.

The father wanted to know what he could do to help. What are the right things to say. He really wanted to know how he could best help his son.   It got me thinking about the other appointments that day and I realized that quite a few of my patients come to their appointments with someone in their family. And that most families don’t really know what to do.

Drug addiction affects the whole family – young, teenage, or grown-up children; wives or husbands; brothers or sisters; parents or other relatives and friends.  One family member addicted to drugs means the whole family suffers.  Addiction is a family disease that stresses the family to the breaking point, impacts the stability of the home, the family’s unity, mental and physical health, their finances, and overall family dynamics.

Without help, active addiction can totally disrupt family life and cause harmful effects that can last a lifetime. No family is born with the knowledge of how to deal effectively with addiction.  It is a skill that must be learned.

If you are worried that someone you know may have an addiction start with these simple dos and don’ts :

Don’t ignore the problem.

Do raise your concerns with the person and let him or her know you are available to listen.

Don’t argue with the person.

Do provide factual information about the problem. If the person gets angry or denies there is a problem, be patient but persistent.

Don’t judge the person.

Do be positive and encourage change instead of blaming the person or making him or her feel guilty.

Don’t push for treatment.

Do find out about available treatment programs and tell the person about them. He or she has to be the one to decide to make a change.

Some other things that you can do are:

• express confidence that the person can make the change
• help with practical problems such as finding housing or a job or getting transportation to support group meetings
• be a good listener and try not to make judgments
• work with the person to make plans for handling situations where relapse may occur
• celebrate small successes

Remember, It is hard for a person to admit he or she is unable to stop using a substance. It takes courage to admit a change is needed and to work at making the change happen.  If the person you care for continues to use drugs despite the support you provide, this can be very frustrating and demoralising. Remember, the decision to use drugs is their responsibility, not yours, and make sure you seek help for yourself.